For those who want to know...
Here is the latest news, and I am sure she would love to know I am posting this on the Internet. However, since she does have a MySpace and has her own blog on there where she tells equally private things and has pictures of herself posted so anyone could actually know who it was about, I don't see where she can say a whole lot.
Not sure what you know, they are officially separated, he moved out earier this month and is living with his parents. They are sharing custody of the girls, they do three days, four days or some such, I have no idea. He worked it out so she has them every weekend in February, I suppose so he can go out with his 22 year old girlfriend and she can't go out at all because she has four children. A few weeks ago Alyssa babysat for her and there was a big commotion that night because Lisa decided to try to catch him lying about where he actually was. They are separated so I am not sure why this matters. I don't know why he even tells her at all. So she tried to call his cell and he didn't answer, then he shut it off because she was being psycho. (you need this background for what happened this past weekend which is the height of crazy, I'll make it short).
She eventually winds up calling the suspected girlfriend and saying "where is my husband?" this 22 year old girl, who is clearly an idiot because why else would she be dating a married, 34 year old man with 4 children under the age of 10; says "I have no idea what you are talking about." and hangs up. So Lisa proceeds to call her repeatedly. Now, if I were this girl, I would run screaming in the other direction from this guy, but I guess I was never that stupid.
Lisa called me this past Saturday and told me that on Friday she went to talk to said girlfriend because "I have been acting like a psycho to her and it's not her fault." Excuse me?! What's not her fault? Is it her fault she is seeing a married man? She works with him and has for a while, it's not like his marital status was a secret. She says, "Well, we're separated." AND? The point? To this I replied that anyone who is seeing a married person, separated or not (and mind you this separation has been for three weeks-and she was totally seeing him before he moved out of the house, this I know because he had her in the house before) takes the risk that the spouse is a raving lunatic. And I informed Lisa that if she wanted to act like a psycho toward this girl, that was just too bad for her. He's MARRIED. Not her fault. Whatever.
Now our grandmother is in the hospital. Lisa's only source of income comes from helping our grandmother during the day. She is not going home. The hospital will not release her to go home, they will only release her to a nursing home. She is saying completely crazy things, she won't feed herself. She's there because she fell again. Lisa is out of a job. She has received no money from her wonderful husband since he left. He is so concerned about his children that he has not paid one dime of support in three weeks and she is so stupid she hasn't gone to file for support.
On Saturday I went to the hosptial with my mother to see my grandmother; Lisa and her mom, my mom's sister, were there. After we were there for about an hour I asked Lisa if she wanted to show me where the cafeteria was because I was starving and wanted something to eat. So as we are walking to the elevator her phone rings. Naturally it is the asshole. He has no name btw, he is just known as asshole. I am listening to her side of the conversation and wondering why it is even being had. I have told her repeatedly that I see no reason for her to speak to him unless it has to do with the children. We get to the elevator and I have had enough so I say "Well, there is no service in elevators, say goodbye." She continues to talk, the elevator comes and I shoot her looks, then I start making comments so she hangs up. She knows I will say whatever I feel like when it comes to him. He is an asshole, he is not worthy of my time or my respect. All I said was "Bye" really loudly and nastily, I guess she didn't want to see where I'd go with it so she hung up.
We wind up having to wander all over the place because the cafeteria is closed and we are looking for a soda machine that has water in it because that is what my mother wants. While we are wandering around she proceeds to tell me how she still loves him, she knows he still loves her and they are meant to be together. I tell her that he is messing with her and she needs to let it go. It's over, let it go. But no, I am wrong of course. Cuz I am the one with four kids, no job, husband moved out and is paying me no support and my house is about to get foreclosed. No wait, that's her. Clearly she is better at making choices than I am. And she's obviously thinking rationally about what is best for her children.
She tells me where there is a machine, I go in search of the water and she goes outside "to smoke a cigarette". I find the soda machine, get the water and go back to wait by the doors, it's cold, I am not going out there. I am waiting and waiting. I know how long it takes to smoke a cigarette and I am getting annoyed. Finally, I called her on her cell phone and said "Are you coming in or are you talking to him?" She replies "Just go up, I'll be there in a minute." I hung up and went up by myself.
Did I mention that there is a prisoner on the same floor as my grandmother? I know this by the two DOC guards sitting in the hallway two doors down. So yeah, I have to walk past there by myself.
When I got back in the room I told my aunt what was going on. She said "She's stupid." I asked her if she told her that and she says that she did. I told her good, so did I. My mother did too. When she came back up to the room she had nothing more to say to me. I am wondering if she's not speaking to me now. Which would be just fine, because I am no longer being nice with my opinions about her, her husband and her idiot choices. So it's probably for the best if she's not speaking to me. I can't make matters worse that way. Since she's not going to listen anyway, what's the point in talking to her?
Tomorrow I can give the updates on another one of my idiot cousins. Let me know which one you want to hear about. Of all my cousins, the only one who isn't an idiot is Stacy. We are still trying to figure out how we are the only responsible ones (this generation) in the entire family.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
University City
Can someone please explain to me why every road in University City is under construction? And has been for the past year? I took my son to an appointment at Children's Hospital today. They have a building at 3440 Market Street, that's where we went, not the main hospital.
So I get off the Schuylkill Expressway at South Street; turn left onto whatever that is, that direction I think it's not South but whatever, construction. I turn onto 33rd Street, construction; turn onto 34th off of Market, construction. The parking lot makes me leave out onto 35th-just to create a headache-that's new-after some other 34th Street construction that's now finished. I have to drive around the block to get back onto 34th because that's what way I want to go. I get over by the main hospital and...you guessed it...that's all the way down that section of the road, and I turn left to head back toward 76, again, more roads I have no clue the name of, but there is more construction there as well. All in all, a nightmare.
So I get off the Schuylkill Expressway at South Street; turn left onto whatever that is, that direction I think it's not South but whatever, construction. I turn onto 33rd Street, construction; turn onto 34th off of Market, construction. The parking lot makes me leave out onto 35th-just to create a headache-that's new-after some other 34th Street construction that's now finished. I have to drive around the block to get back onto 34th because that's what way I want to go. I get over by the main hospital and...you guessed it...that's all the way down that section of the road, and I turn left to head back toward 76, again, more roads I have no clue the name of, but there is more construction there as well. All in all, a nightmare.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Pictures
What do you do with old pictures? Mine are in photo albums, that were made at the time the pictures were developed. (That's right...developed) Not the scrapbook kind that some crazy people put together...that I don't get, but they are in albums. I have photo albums from when I was nine years old.
For some reason, one night my husband said something about one of my ex-boyfriends and Alyssa said, "Oh I saw a picture of him." And my husband said "Where?" Alyssa said, "In one of mommy's photos albums." He says, "You have pictures of your old boyfriends?" with complete disbelief. Now, his old pictures are in shoe boxes somewhere and if anyone bothered to look through them I am sure we'd find some old girlfriends but that's not my point so I won't go there. So I said, "In old photo albums, in the hall closet." He is looking at me like this is the craziest thing he has ever heard! I asked, "Am I supposed to tear apart my photo albums and throw them away?" There was no verbal response but the look I got was a "yes".
What the hell? These are not albums that are sitting out where you can just pick them up and look at them. They are in the hall closet, some are in the basement. One of them is from college with sorority stuff in it. Why would I rip them apart? It's my past and that's what it was. Does getting rid of the pictures somehow change it? It's not like he didn't know about these guys! Should I let my daughter think I only ever had one boyfriend? I think it's better for her to know that I had a few and she should too before she decides to get married.
We have been married for 12 years next month. I don't understand why he would be that insecure to worry about me having a picture of someone I dated 15-20 years ago! I suppose this means I have to get rid of my prom pictures too. Men!
For some reason, one night my husband said something about one of my ex-boyfriends and Alyssa said, "Oh I saw a picture of him." And my husband said "Where?" Alyssa said, "In one of mommy's photos albums." He says, "You have pictures of your old boyfriends?" with complete disbelief. Now, his old pictures are in shoe boxes somewhere and if anyone bothered to look through them I am sure we'd find some old girlfriends but that's not my point so I won't go there. So I said, "In old photo albums, in the hall closet." He is looking at me like this is the craziest thing he has ever heard! I asked, "Am I supposed to tear apart my photo albums and throw them away?" There was no verbal response but the look I got was a "yes".
What the hell? These are not albums that are sitting out where you can just pick them up and look at them. They are in the hall closet, some are in the basement. One of them is from college with sorority stuff in it. Why would I rip them apart? It's my past and that's what it was. Does getting rid of the pictures somehow change it? It's not like he didn't know about these guys! Should I let my daughter think I only ever had one boyfriend? I think it's better for her to know that I had a few and she should too before she decides to get married.
We have been married for 12 years next month. I don't understand why he would be that insecure to worry about me having a picture of someone I dated 15-20 years ago! I suppose this means I have to get rid of my prom pictures too. Men!
Sunday, January 21, 2007
8th Grade " Graduation"
I keep threatening to post my tirade on the 8th grade "graduation" and I haven't done it yet. For those people interested enough to bother reading this, here goes.
First of all, when you are done with 8th grade, you have not actually graduated. Yes, you are moving on from elementary/middle school to high school, although in my area there is at least one school district I know of that has 8th and 9th grade in a junior high so I suppose even that is debatable. However, for the sake of argument, you're moving on to high school. Yes, it is a new phase of your educational life. It is not however, a graduation. You are not permitted by law to stop going to school at this point. And if you were, in the year 2007, what would you do with yourself and your 8th grade education?
But for some reason 8th grade graduation is now some huge deal. I could get started on a whole other tangent as to why I think this kind of nonsense is why "kids these days" get involved in things way too young. They don't have to wait for anything, there is nothing left to look forward to. Been there, done that. But that's a different tirade.
8th grade graduation is some huge deal. My daughter came home last week with a cap and gown. I have to press it before Wednesday when it has to go back to school to be there in time for the graduation pictures that will be taken this Friday, that I will be expected by my child to purchase. My child who will no doubt pose with her "emo face" that she is fond of using these days in her pictures. So I will not want these pictures. She will look ridiculous. She usually looks ridiculous in pictures that are taken when I am not there to say "stop making that dumb face".
Three weeks ago she started with nonsense about these pictures. The first week in January was "Can I have Sheila straighten my hair the day of the pictures?" How is this going to happen "She'll come over before school." Yeah, right, Sheila's bus comes at 7:05, no I do not need her in my house at 6 in the morning so she can straighten your already straight hair! Dry it with a blow dryer and a brush instead of wrapping it up in hair ties like you usually do. This went on for a week. Back and forth about the hair. Apparently the plan now is that Sheila will straighten it the night before. I'll need to remind Alyssa that we are not home on Thursdays due to her brother's counseling appointments.
The second week of January we moved on to nails. "I know you're probably going to say no to this. But can I get fake nails for my graduation pictures?" No, besides, you're not allowed to have painted nails at school. The principal has said that they can for the pictures and they can have them for the rest of the year as an 8th grade privilege. So we had to discuss nails for a week. The result of that was, "If you want nails, stop biting them." And now someone, I don't know who, is supposed to do a French manicure.
I think out of spite, if I do get any pictures, I'll get the ones with the cap on her head so that her nails aren't in the picture and her hair is covered. I am evil.
Last week we moved on to shoes. That's right, SHOES. When was the last time you had a picture taken where your shoes showed? We went through all this stuff with my brother and his family for family pictures for my mom where everyone was wearing the same thing, we had to go buy Rob a new pair of jeans. No ones' pants even show in this picture. And she is worried about SHOES! "Well, they are taking the group pictures too and our feet will show in that." Yeah, and the picture will be far enough back that no one will see your new white kitten heel shoes. That's what she wants, kitten heels. White, in January. Uh-huh.
So finally I called the 8th grade advisor and she said that yes, they are allowed to have the nails as an 8th grade privilege, but they have to be a neutral color. They can't be painted. What is the point of that? She agrees that there is absolutely no reason for new shoes. Then she tells me that the dinner dance is another story, everyone pretty much treats that like it's the prom. I am already annoyed about this whole thing. We are going to kill each other.
We got a letter that all 8th graders will need $500 in their graduation account. $500! What the hell is all that for? Alyssa says "caps and gowns and the dinner dance". Um, I know people who got married at the place they're having the dinner dance. With an open bar it's $57 a person. There won't be an open bar. I paid in the range of $50 last year for my cap and gown for graduation with a Master's degree-that has extra stuff with it, so...I repeat...$500?!
I have informed my daughter that if she thinks she is getting some gown and new shoes and god only knows what else for this dinner dance, she had better start saving her money and find some babysitting gigs. She was asked today to babysit every Saturday in February. I advised her that it would be a good idea for her to do so. She said she would. We'll see how that goes.
My husband thinks that for the dance we should let her get her nails done because this is a big deal to her. My feeling is that she has not done anything spectacular. She is skating through by the skin of her teeth, although she has been tested and I was told that "C"s are not reasonable for her, she should be getting "A"s and "B"s because she has a 120 IQ and a 12th grade reading level. She likes to point out that she did get an "A" on her report card. In what? Religion. That's right. The class that has no homework. One project a year which takes about an hour to do. The main thing they are talking about this year is chastity. So basically, boys-the only thing she IS interested. And I am supposed to be impressed that she got an "A"? She has never NOT gotten an "A" in religion.
How is it that this is the child I raised? I totally don't get it! I was not even a little bit interested in boys when I was 13. 13 year old boys are idiots, and they smell bad. I taught in middle school, trust me, they smell bad. I would not have wanted to bring my report card home if I had one "C", let alone nothing but "C"s. She thinks nothing of bringing home "D"s and "F"s, like "Why are you so freaked out about this?" This is a child who when she was 9 said "I'd rather be pretty than smart." I asked her what was wrong with both, because she could be both. Nope, we don't want to be smart. And she is sticking to it. She's going to be looking at eternal grounding. I see it coming.
Someone is going to have to move out of this house. And I think it may be me.
First of all, when you are done with 8th grade, you have not actually graduated. Yes, you are moving on from elementary/middle school to high school, although in my area there is at least one school district I know of that has 8th and 9th grade in a junior high so I suppose even that is debatable. However, for the sake of argument, you're moving on to high school. Yes, it is a new phase of your educational life. It is not however, a graduation. You are not permitted by law to stop going to school at this point. And if you were, in the year 2007, what would you do with yourself and your 8th grade education?
But for some reason 8th grade graduation is now some huge deal. I could get started on a whole other tangent as to why I think this kind of nonsense is why "kids these days" get involved in things way too young. They don't have to wait for anything, there is nothing left to look forward to. Been there, done that. But that's a different tirade.
8th grade graduation is some huge deal. My daughter came home last week with a cap and gown. I have to press it before Wednesday when it has to go back to school to be there in time for the graduation pictures that will be taken this Friday, that I will be expected by my child to purchase. My child who will no doubt pose with her "emo face" that she is fond of using these days in her pictures. So I will not want these pictures. She will look ridiculous. She usually looks ridiculous in pictures that are taken when I am not there to say "stop making that dumb face".
Three weeks ago she started with nonsense about these pictures. The first week in January was "Can I have Sheila straighten my hair the day of the pictures?" How is this going to happen "She'll come over before school." Yeah, right, Sheila's bus comes at 7:05, no I do not need her in my house at 6 in the morning so she can straighten your already straight hair! Dry it with a blow dryer and a brush instead of wrapping it up in hair ties like you usually do. This went on for a week. Back and forth about the hair. Apparently the plan now is that Sheila will straighten it the night before. I'll need to remind Alyssa that we are not home on Thursdays due to her brother's counseling appointments.
The second week of January we moved on to nails. "I know you're probably going to say no to this. But can I get fake nails for my graduation pictures?" No, besides, you're not allowed to have painted nails at school. The principal has said that they can for the pictures and they can have them for the rest of the year as an 8th grade privilege. So we had to discuss nails for a week. The result of that was, "If you want nails, stop biting them." And now someone, I don't know who, is supposed to do a French manicure.
I think out of spite, if I do get any pictures, I'll get the ones with the cap on her head so that her nails aren't in the picture and her hair is covered. I am evil.
Last week we moved on to shoes. That's right, SHOES. When was the last time you had a picture taken where your shoes showed? We went through all this stuff with my brother and his family for family pictures for my mom where everyone was wearing the same thing, we had to go buy Rob a new pair of jeans. No ones' pants even show in this picture. And she is worried about SHOES! "Well, they are taking the group pictures too and our feet will show in that." Yeah, and the picture will be far enough back that no one will see your new white kitten heel shoes. That's what she wants, kitten heels. White, in January. Uh-huh.
So finally I called the 8th grade advisor and she said that yes, they are allowed to have the nails as an 8th grade privilege, but they have to be a neutral color. They can't be painted. What is the point of that? She agrees that there is absolutely no reason for new shoes. Then she tells me that the dinner dance is another story, everyone pretty much treats that like it's the prom. I am already annoyed about this whole thing. We are going to kill each other.
We got a letter that all 8th graders will need $500 in their graduation account. $500! What the hell is all that for? Alyssa says "caps and gowns and the dinner dance". Um, I know people who got married at the place they're having the dinner dance. With an open bar it's $57 a person. There won't be an open bar. I paid in the range of $50 last year for my cap and gown for graduation with a Master's degree-that has extra stuff with it, so...I repeat...$500?!
I have informed my daughter that if she thinks she is getting some gown and new shoes and god only knows what else for this dinner dance, she had better start saving her money and find some babysitting gigs. She was asked today to babysit every Saturday in February. I advised her that it would be a good idea for her to do so. She said she would. We'll see how that goes.
My husband thinks that for the dance we should let her get her nails done because this is a big deal to her. My feeling is that she has not done anything spectacular. She is skating through by the skin of her teeth, although she has been tested and I was told that "C"s are not reasonable for her, she should be getting "A"s and "B"s because she has a 120 IQ and a 12th grade reading level. She likes to point out that she did get an "A" on her report card. In what? Religion. That's right. The class that has no homework. One project a year which takes about an hour to do. The main thing they are talking about this year is chastity. So basically, boys-the only thing she IS interested. And I am supposed to be impressed that she got an "A"? She has never NOT gotten an "A" in religion.
How is it that this is the child I raised? I totally don't get it! I was not even a little bit interested in boys when I was 13. 13 year old boys are idiots, and they smell bad. I taught in middle school, trust me, they smell bad. I would not have wanted to bring my report card home if I had one "C", let alone nothing but "C"s. She thinks nothing of bringing home "D"s and "F"s, like "Why are you so freaked out about this?" This is a child who when she was 9 said "I'd rather be pretty than smart." I asked her what was wrong with both, because she could be both. Nope, we don't want to be smart. And she is sticking to it. She's going to be looking at eternal grounding. I see it coming.
Someone is going to have to move out of this house. And I think it may be me.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
I hate everyone
You know, some days I wonder why I even bothered to get married. Today is one of those days where I would definitely be happier if I was just by myself. My husband is being a miserable jerk and has decided that I am the one with the issue. Whatever. Asks me something then says "nevermind I don't want to hear it". Charming, I'll just talk to myself this evening.
We get pizza on Tuesdays because it's music lessons, the teacher comes here and he eats with us, so pizza is the easiest thing to do. I tell my husband we need to get bread so he may as well go a few minutes early. Now, to be fair, I asked him to help me copy a CD for Heather because I was having a hard time because some bands (you know who I mean Heather) really know how to work this copyright protection. So he's pissy trying to figure that out and I say "well, I am not going to see Heather until the 20th so it doesn't need to be done immediately. We can figure this out later." No, we have to do it NOW. So he's all worked up about that. I remind him to go get the pizza, he says ok but nothing happens. So I get all ready to go get it and he yells "I'll go". No, I have my coat on, goodbye.
He apologized for being jerky, went to Wawa to get bread and milk and after the music teacher left, went back to being jerky. That was when we went to "I don't want to talk about that." mode. So I am just not talking to him. The best part about it is that he doesn't even notice. I cleaned up the kitchen and now I am writing a tirade.
He's still messing around on the computer. I am going to go to bed in a minute and I am sure that he'll be down here for at least another hour. I am so annoyed. Yes, this is rambling. I am not even going to try to talk to him because now I am pissy.
South Park is really funny tonight though.
We get pizza on Tuesdays because it's music lessons, the teacher comes here and he eats with us, so pizza is the easiest thing to do. I tell my husband we need to get bread so he may as well go a few minutes early. Now, to be fair, I asked him to help me copy a CD for Heather because I was having a hard time because some bands (you know who I mean Heather) really know how to work this copyright protection. So he's pissy trying to figure that out and I say "well, I am not going to see Heather until the 20th so it doesn't need to be done immediately. We can figure this out later." No, we have to do it NOW. So he's all worked up about that. I remind him to go get the pizza, he says ok but nothing happens. So I get all ready to go get it and he yells "I'll go". No, I have my coat on, goodbye.
He apologized for being jerky, went to Wawa to get bread and milk and after the music teacher left, went back to being jerky. That was when we went to "I don't want to talk about that." mode. So I am just not talking to him. The best part about it is that he doesn't even notice. I cleaned up the kitchen and now I am writing a tirade.
He's still messing around on the computer. I am going to go to bed in a minute and I am sure that he'll be down here for at least another hour. I am so annoyed. Yes, this is rambling. I am not even going to try to talk to him because now I am pissy.
South Park is really funny tonight though.
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