Adding to the Story

I called Lisa today, I don't even know what to think about her. She was back in the hospital because she "ate a bottle of xanax". She tells me that she should be dead. Apparently last weekend she called everyone on Saturday and was really nasty to everyone. I guess that was why she called me but she doesn't remember calling anyone or talking to anyone. She didn't talk to me. Her parents went and got her and took her to their house and were just going to keep her there but then she went in the bathroom and her dad caught her going to take the bottle of aspirin-which I know from many years ago does nothing but make a person sick (and no, I didn't do it). So they took her back to the hospital.

She did come home on Thursday. She had her medication changed and no longer has a prescription for xanax. She is set up with therapy, who knows if she'll go. But in the meantime her charming husband got an emergency order giving him full custody of the girls and won't let her see them and won't let her mom see them either. So basically he is just being an asshole all around. He also has a picture of he and his girlfriend on his MySpace page.

I talked to her for about five minutes. She and her friend Joanne are going to a concert. So, I guess she's really concerned about everything.

For Those of You Keeping Score

Lisa is back in the hospital. My mom told me yesterday that her mother (Lisa's) had her committed and she can't sign herself out this time. She signed herself out last week. All I was told was that she was admitted for "drugs and alcohol". As far as I knew, she quit drinking before she was even 21 due to several incidences of being so intoxicated and sick later that she just didn't want to do that anymore. Oh yeah-and those incidents were mostly mine and Stacy's faults. (Stacy and I don't recall holding her down and pouring that Captain Morgan's down her throat but whatever) And as far as I know she stopped using any drugs before she had her first daughter, who is almost 9. So unless she went on some sort of bender over the weekend; OR it was for the Xanax usage, I have no idea.

Sheri's father passed away. He was in the hospital for 144 days. Jill and I went to the funeral and Sheri wasn't there. We found out later she was deathly ill with a stomach virus that is going around. I am sure she'll be emotionally traumatized from that. I should call her.

Brandon has a girlfriend. He has been in a better mood. We are worried about what will happen when Zoe decides she doesn't want to be his girlfriend anymore. They are 6th graders after all. Now he's arguing with us that WE are obsessed with tv. We watch like one show a day, and this is coming from the child who CRIED when he missed the season finale of the Avatar because "they never show reruns of this show". I would like it noted that the show was repeated three times that same weekend! And he has seen it at least five times. But anyway...

Alyssa is grounded again because she thinks all adults are stupid and that this will be the time she gets away with it. Whatever it may be. This time "it" is that she had note cards due for a research paper she's supposed to be working on. I asked her every day how it was coming along "oh good"; asked her if she was where she was supposed to be "yep". The day before I got the phone call from her teacher telling me about the note cards that were due two weeks before the day he called she asked if she could go to Sheila's next door because "all my homework is done" and I said "what about the research paper, are you up to date?" Of course! So when I got the call and I pointed out to her that she had been lying to me and to her teacher she said "I didn't lie to Mr. C" well I suppose telling him you don't have you cards with you is technically not a lie-just because you don't have them because they aren't done. ::sigh:: I give up. But I did remind her that she told me the night before that all her homework was done and I specifically asked about that paper and she said that too. She did have to relent that that was in fact a lie. She lucked out on the grounding. It was originally two whole weeks but we gave her one and now have just put restrictions on school night activities. No more visiting friends on school nights. Unless she can pull off a report card with only A's and B's. Since that hasn't happened since 2nd grade, I am not too worried about it happening now.

Off to watch Prison Break.

The Latest

My mom tells me that my grandmother is doing ok. The nurses said she is better in the morning so my mom is going to go see her in the morning when she goes. She feels bad because she can't go every day. My aunt Sue told me not to let her or my aunt Linda feel guilty because she has no reason to. My grandmother was only able to stay in her apartment as long as she did because of them. Of course, I can tell my mom it's ok not to go every day but if she's going to feel guilty, there's nothing I can say to fix that.

She said that mom-mom doesn't seem to recognize them but she asks questions that make sense so it's weird. She asked aunt Linda how Lisa and Dominic were, but didn't know who she was. Who knows. Today she fell out of her wheelchair so that doesn't sound good. But they are getting her up and making her socialize every day which is an improvement over when she was in her apartment and never left.

The Lisa update...I got a message from my mom yesterday that said "I need to talk to you about your cousin". She and Wally were arguing and he took her to Bridgeton Psych and left her there. Hr parents were supposed to go to Florida today, thy were flying back with my aunt Sue, but of course they cancelled their trip, which they cannot get any money back for, or even change the dates because it was less than 24 hours notice. Lisa's insurance apparently doesn't pay for where she was so they had to move her to a hospital in Woodbury-which is about an hour from where she actually lives, and put her in there on a suicide watch. Dominic said "she won't kill herself, she doesn't have the balls" which is totally true.

I just talked to my mom, Lisa is still there, they won't release her until Monday. She's sorry that she did it, she just wanted them to put her in touch with a doctor or something. I don't know, I haven't called her and I am not going to. I think she is being ridiculous and dramatic. She knows that I just went through a bunch of crap with Brandon and that I have emergency numbers. If you are going to pull a dramatic "I am going to kill myself" stunt, you don't do it on a Friday. There is no one around to deal with her so now she's stuck in the hospital.

She wants to see her girls and when her parents tried to call Wally he won't answer his phone. They called her best friend and she got a hold of him. He said he's bring them to see her, which surprises me. But I am not sure that he should. I don't really think a hospital is the best place for young children. Her kids have been through enough already.

Her whole problem is "she still loves him". OH MY GOD! Are you f-ing kidding?! First of all, he has a girlfriend. A 22 year old girlfriend at that. He moved out over a month ago and has not paid her one dime of support. He has convinced her she is crazy, verbally abused her and is just generally an asshole. Not to mention that how much did she love him when she was sleeping with other guys? In the past two years she has slept with three other guys. If she loved him so much why was she doing that instead of trying to fix her marriage? Rob and I had a lot of problems the first five years of our marriage, which is all the longer she's been married, and I told her that, and all the problems we had back then, it never even occurred to me to contact ex-boyfriends and sleep with them. This just so reminds me of my first boyfriend and our relationship-it makes me insane. I was 19 when I was acting like this. She's 32, and has kids. Four of them. But we all know who's going to get custody now. When she was actually seeing a counselor they told her that her biggest problem was impulse control. Gee, ya think? I don't think she needed to pay anyone to tell her that.

And finally, my friend Sheri. Over the past two years Sheri and I have grown apart and I have seen her once in the past year and I have talked to her maybe three times, once being this past Tuesday. Her dad died today. He has been sick and in the hospital since September. Jill and I were trying to remember how old he was but we're not sure. We think 64 or 5. I called her the other night because of the whole sorority thing. They are disbursing all of the albums and I requested the one from when I pledged, which of course is missing, can't say I am surprised. Laura probably has it, she hated a lot of the girls that joined after us and I know she was taking stuff because they weren't "real" sisters and she didn't want them to have "our" stuff. But I digress. So I asked for the book from when Sheri pledged, intending to give it to her. I knew she was dealing with this stuff with her dad and has not been keeping up with all this stuff that's been going on but that she would want it.

The original plan was to give the books to the historian that made them but they couldn't track down who all of them were. Again, am I surprised that the records were poor? I am not. I got this photo album the other day and the first page was pictures of Sheri's pledge class, but it was her handwriting. As I turned the pages I saw that it was not from when she pledged, it was from the following two semesters and she was the historian who made the book. I thought it was really ironic that the intention was to give them to the historian and that's what I got. So I called her to tell her I had this book for her and we talked for a few minutes. Not long because I wasn't expecting her to answer, I know she's been with her family and at the hospital so I called when we had a counselor coming any minute. So when she got here I had to get off the phone. But I did talk to her for about five minutes and what she told me about her dad did not sound good but she sounded ok. I think this has been going on for so long that they have to feel at least some relief that it is over. From what she was telling me I think he had to be suffering.

I guess that I will go over to the viewing with Jill on Thursday. Sheri was setting up a sorority dinner for a group of us who are close by but I am not sure if she'll be up to it now. It's not until the week after next though so maybe she'll be ready for a diversion. I feel bad for her. I can't imagine how it would be to lose your father so young. Although my grandfather was only 66 when he died. My dad was only a few years older than what Sheri is now.

That's all my bad news. Rob went to get the kids McDonald's because we are going out for our anniversary. We're supposed to be leaving at 5:40 and it's now 5:33 and he's not home. How long does it take to get McDonald's??

Mom-Mom Update

My grandmother was moved to a nursing home today. The bleeding from the diverticulitis stopped on its own so there was no reason to keep her at the hospital. I am not sure how good she actually is or what the prognosis is, but I guess she's better than she was this past weekend.

My Grandmother

My grandmother, my mother's mother, is (I think) 84. Last Thursday (Jan 25) she fell at some point between when her home health aide left at 6 pm on Wednesday and when her aide (Lisa) got there at 9 am on Thursday. She doesn't know when she fell. She said it was "getting light" but she really doesn't know what's going on at this point.

Thursday when I went to my mom's to work out, Mark told me that things were bad like it was time for Aunt Sue and Uncle Jim to get here, bad. She has diverticulitis and is bleeding and they can't stop it. Then my mom came home and told me pretty much the same thing. She talked to her brother and before I left she said he was coming Friday (yesterday). She was not sure about Aunt Sue, she did come also, today.

Yesterday after school I went to the hospital. When I got there my mom was on the phone with my grandmother's GI doctor. Lisa was in the room with mom-mom and I went in and Lisa said "Look, Tricia's here". She was real excited and said "I was hoping you'd come!" but I am pretty sure she has no idea who the heck I am. She is wide awake and has a lot to say, but most of it is nonsense. I guess she is going in and out of knowing who anyone is. It's a little weird because the doctors have been saying forever that she does not have Alzheimer's Disease, she has dementia, not sure what the difference is, but yesterday it was all crazy talk.

When my mom got off the phone she came in the tell everyone, that being, Aunt Linda, Lisa and I, that the GI doctor is not very happy with the things the staff doctor has been saying. He says that the bleeding is minor, he recommends waiting two days to see if it stops on its own, she needs blood transfusions, but small ones, unless she suddenly needs 8-10 units, he said he thinks they should get them. If the bleeding doesn't stop by Monday, he can do surgery, a non-invasive procedure, to stop it, and he thinks she is in good enough shape to survive that. He is not happy that the staff doctor has basically said that they should just let her bleed to death. He said there is no reason at all for that. Why are some doctors such jerks? We know she is old but she is a person and what they are doing for her is not heroic nor is it hurting her. I wonder how he would feel about it if it was HIS mother/grandmother!

Anyway, she's saying all kinds of crazy things. She wants to leave though-she knows that. While I was there she told Lisa, is a very angry voice "We need to go sit in front of City Hall!" Lisa and I about choked. She also keeps talking about calling her mother, who has been dead for a long time. I think my mom said she saw me once. Maybe, I could be wrong on that. She thinks Aunt Linda is her mother too. Her regular doctor said a while ago that we just need to go along with the crazy stuff. No point in arguing with her. She usually thinks I am my mom and calls me Patty-last night she kept looking back and forth at us and looking surprised each time, like some sort of magic trick was going on that "Patty" was on both sides of the bed!

Anyway, if they stop the bleeding and all that, she will have to go into a nursing home. But my mom also said that once Jim and Suzanne get here she may just decide to let go. That is what happened with my grandfather, there was no earthly explanation for how he was still alive at all. They came and the next day he died. So I am a little worried about that. I really don't know how to feel. She is my grandmother and of course I want her around, but at the same time, she's not really herself anymore and who knows what it is like to be her. Really I think I am more worried about my mom.

Again, since I have two friends that read this...it's for your benefit, so I only have to type it once.

Dreams

After the dreams I had last night I have determined that I am officially insane. I had a dream that I was having sex in the back of a car with my extremely ex boyfriend, Rob. This I can accept since I wrote my nano novel about senior year of high school and that's how extremely I am talking about, and I was editing my novel last night before I went to bed and the last section I was editing was the first time I had sex, and it was with him. So I am not thinking that him being in the dream was the weird part. The weird part was that his parents were driving the car while this was going on. But we didn't actually have sex. When we got to almost having sex we simultaneously said something along the lines of "what the hell? I am not having sex with you!" and put our clothes back on.

Now, we are still in the back of the car, that his step-father is driving, and I am leaning against him and sleeping. We just yelled at each other but now we are all cozy in the car. So what's that? I am comfortable with the result of our relationship? So in my dream I am dreaming and in that dream I am falling because I dreamt that the car drove off a bridge. So in my dream I wake myself up because I hate falling dreams, but I am still actually having this dream. Confused? Because I sure as hell am. Then we stopped for ice cream. There was weird stuff going on there too and naturally I went in to get ice cream with them but once we were inside I was with other people that I know, but I can't remember who that was now.

Naturally I had to go to this dream interpretation site this morning. http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/ and here is what I found there...

About sex, and I am selecting parts, some of it was just not relevant and there is a ton of stuff on there about sex, surprise, surprise:
To dream about sex, refers to the psychological completion and the integration of contrasting aspects of the Self. You need to be more receptive and incorporate aspects of your dream sex partner into your own character.
OK, this I can accept, being married for 12 years...Rob was definitely adventurous so, maybe I need to channel that. Then it says...
To dream about sex with someone other than your spouse or significant other, suggests dissatisfaction with the physical side of your relationship. On the other hand, it may be harmless fantasy.
As if I couldn't come up with that on my own! WTF?!
To dream that you are having sex with an ex or someone who is not your current mate, denotes your reservations about embarking in a new relationship or situation.
What new relationship?! I don't have a new situation either! So I can only conclude that...
Alternatively and a more direct interpretation of the dream, may be your libido's way of telling you that it's been too long since you have had sex.
I am sure my husband would be happy to hear that! Works for him! Mind you he's upset I still have pictures of Rob so god forbid he should read this. Like I can control my dreams somehow.

Onto the next, dreaming about dreaming...
To dream that you are dreaming, signifies your emotional state. You are excessively worried and fearful about a situation or circumstance that you are going through.
Yeah, that basically sums me up. I am stressed out and worried.

And then, falling dreams...
To dream that you fall and are not frightened, signifies that you will overcome your adversities with ease.
Well, since I was dreaming I was dreaming I was falling, I wasn't frightened, I was annoyed because I hate falling dreams. I guess that means I can overcome adversities with ease if they annoy me? But what if you dream that you dream you are falling? What does that mean?

Ice Cream:To see or eat ice cream in your dream, denotes pleasure and satisfaction with your life. It is also an indicative of good luck and success in love.
Doesn't this seem contradictory? It does to me. Am I stressed out with adversities or am I satisfied? Who knows! Know what I think? It's official, I need meds!